Children of a workaholic mother are often left to their own devices, while the mother is busy with her career and away from home for significant lengths of time.
Do you agree with this statement?
I think it is incredibly judging, and the problem is much deeper than those kids are left to their devices. The problem is where to fill your resources to survive through the day and come back home happy and have energy for your kids. Not everyone can choose to be a stay home mum, or not everyone wants to stop their career because they have kids now. There can be so many reasons behind this choice, but it is not about what you choose - it is about how to make it work.
Planning, Planning and one more time repeat after me - PLANNING!
Yes, it is time-consuming, but it is better to spend few hours during the weekend and make sure that you know that everything covered and you have time for really important things: you, your hobbies, your family. What makes you happy?
And I am telling you that trust me, if everything is planned, you will find more time to spare.
So coming back to what makes you happy, find a hobby, do yoga, read a book, go for a walk, do some gardening. Find this 30 minutes per day just for you, and you will see that after you will have more energy and resources which you can share with others.
Delegate! You will have less money more nerve cells. I think it is a good trade.
Find a switch off from work. Can you switch your phone off? Can you leave work outside your home? If you work from home, find a separate room for work; if you don't have space, close your laptop and hide it in a drawer. Listen to something (music, podcast etc), call a friend, have your special after-work tea. You need this ritual, and you need to have this invisible switch inside.
And the last and essential point, if something went not according to the plan... so what? No one died, so what if your kid missed a piano lesson? Groceries didn't arrive today. There are plenty of dirty dishes. You forgot to send that last very important email. Oh, ok, the light goes off...
Light some candles, order dinner online, spent more time with your kid, the dishes aren't going to run away from you because you didn't wash them, say sincerely sorry to the person with the email. If you are straightforward, I am sure they will forgive you, and you will have more time to wrap it up.
And please breathe...things happen, no one is perfect, and there is room for mistakes.